Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts

Saturday, January 13, 2007

What lies beneath

So ... that last post got me to thinking about my junior poet project again, and more generally about poetry.

I did Donne. Done did it. Because my friend Patrick already had picked Hopkins, and David Oliver Davies advised me that if I could grasp the 17th c. metaphysical poets, I could grasp just about anything.

But ... since, I find that I never read John Donne for fun. Or inspiration. Gerard Manley Hopkins, yes.

Consider:

BUSY old fool, unruly Sun,
Why dost thou thus,
Through windows, and through curtains, call on us ?
Must to thy motions lovers' seasons run ?
Saucy pedantic wretch, go chide
Late school-boys and sour prentices,
Go tell court-huntsmen that the king will ride,
Call country ants to harvest offices ;
Love, all alike, no season knows nor clime,
Nor hours, days, months, which are the rags of time.

(from "The Sun Rising)

There is a sort of exuberence in Donne's language, and certainly in his "conceits" -- the images and ideas that stand for something other than their objective meanings -- and in some seasons I stand shoulder-to-shoulder with him in bemoaning the day's meddling interruption.

Donne's not so bad, really.

But think now on this, Manley's recounting of a hawk on the hunt:

I CAUGHT this morning morning’s minion, king-
dom of daylight’s dauphin, dapple-dawn-drawn Falcon, in his riding
Of the rolling level underneath him steady air, and striding
High there, how he rung upon the rein of a wimpling wing
In his ecstasy! then off, off forth on swing,
As a skate’s heel sweeps smooth on a bow-bend: the hurl and gliding
Rebuffed the big wind. My heart in hiding
Stirred for a bird,—the achieve of; the mastery of the thing!
(from "The Windhoever")

The music of his verse, its rhythm and alliteration, cries to be spoken -- sung -- aloud.

Hopkins, a Jesuit priest who suffered nearly his entire life from depression, struggled mightily with his faith, with the bleakness he found in his own mind and soul.

But somehow, it appears, he never gave up.

He frequently -- in poems like "Pied Beauty" and "Spring" and, especially it seems to me, in "As kingfishers catch fire ..." -- uses what he sees in nature to illuminate what, as he saw it, lies beneath.

Invariably, for Hopkins, that is the order of God's universe; the ingeniusness of His design; and the notion that everything signifies something.

Do I believe this?

I don't know. I would like to, I suppose. I keep thinking about it. But I'm still not sure.

I'll leave you with "As kingfishers draw fire," my favorite Hopkins poem for its music, and for -- in the end -- its powerfully humanizing argument that every man and woman is imbued with the same worth and dignity.

Read this aloud:

AS kingfishers catch fire, dragonflies dráw fláme;
As tumbled over rim in roundy wells
Stones ring; like each tucked string tells, each hung bell’s
Bow swung finds tongue to fling out broad its name;
Each mortal thing does one thing and the same:
Deals out that being indoors each one dwells;
Selves—goes itself; myself it speaks and spells,
Crying Whát I do is me: for that I came.

Í say móre: the just man justices;
Kéeps gráce: thát keeps all his goings graces;
Acts in God’s eye what in God’s eye he is—
Chríst—for Christ plays in ten thousand places,
Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his
To the Father through the features of men’s faces.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Santa sucks (or, the miracle of snow)

Oh, not really. I suppose the jolly old fat man's okay.

It's the whole Christmas thing I'm not too crazy about. I have a Grinch t-shirt around here somewhere ... need to go find it and wear it the rest of the day.

A couple of Christmases stand out as memorable, for better or worse ....

The "miracle" Christmas Eve snowfall in the Coastal Bend, back in 2004, for instance. That was a good one. The novelty of snow in South Texas saved the day.

Christmas 1998 was something different: sand provided solace. I spent half the day at the rim of a volcanic crater, the other half I spent playing a pick-up game of coconut football with my buddy Danny and a couple of Navy guys on a Pacific beach near La Libertad, El Salvador.

The first Christmas my son, Patrick, was old enough to really understand what was going on ... that one was pretty cool.

Back in 1996, I spent the day of Christmas -- and I mean, starting at about 06:30 -- touring the northeastern part of Bosnia-Herzegovina.

I recall I was in a foul mood. It was cold and bleak ... well below freezing, but barren. The landscape was all black, leafless trees and frozen, muddy ruts.

The kind of weather where if you were stupid enough to touch your tongue to the barrel of your rifle, it would stick.

I can't actually think of why anyone would do that, but anyhow ....

I had been assigned to accompany the Chief of Chaplains on his round of base camps.

What that meant in practice was something like 10 hours mostly spent jouncing about in an up-armored Humvee, cracking my ass on the "ballistic blanket" (fitted kevlar inserts, supposed to protect us from mine strikes), trying not to succumb to hypothermia.

Chaplain (Maj. Gen.) Don Shea was a short, stocky Irishman with a shock of white hair. Not too bad a guy for a two-star, and not to bad a fellow for a priest either. By the time I met him, Shea had done tours in Vietnam (about the time I was born), in Desert Storm and in lots of other places.

He wore the Master Parachutist badge, and -- on his Class As -- the Silver Star and Purple Heart. At least that's what his bio said, as I recall.

Pretty "hooah" for a padre.

Anyway, so off we go in a four-vehicle convoy, some poor schmuck in the trail vehicle manning a .50 cal. I think we made five stops that day, Shea hearing confessions and offering Christmas mass at each checkpoint and forward operating base.

I was a newlywed at the time and had been stuck in Bosnia for more than half a year and I was angry to still be there. I missed my family, missed my wife, missed the comforts of home.

To tell the truth, I was the sole reveler at my own private pity party. I was just pretty pissed all the way around.

At every stop, Shea turned to me and asked if I'd be hearing mass (he'd established early-on that I was Catholic).

"No, thanks Father. Maybe at the next stop," I'd reply, then hang out with the grunts providing vehicle security while the general ducked into another tent to offer a little spiritual solace to the troops.

Finally, we were waved through Checkpoint Charlie at the zone-of-separation, the no-man's land between mostly Muslim BiH and the self-proclaimed, mostly Orthodox Republika Srpska.

The tan GP medium tent there, with a white plywood steeple afixed to the peak, was our last stop.

Again, I shrugged-off Shea's invitation.

Something, though, made me reconsider, and I slipped past the flap, removing my helmet and taking a seat in the last row of folding chairs.

I don't remember the padre's homily that day, though I remember thinking it wasn't all that bad. I do remember that as I knelt, I felt a loss at what to pray for, what to even say to a God I was having trouble anymore believing existed.

Finally, I prayed this: "Father, take care of my family on this day. Keep them safe, and allow me to return home to them ... And, God, so long as I'm stuck in this hell-hole, could we at least have a white Christmas?"

At the conclusion of the mass, Shea bade us -- the peacekeepers -- go in peace.

I swung my helmet onto my head, and rifle in hand ducked through the tent flap.

As I did, something soft and wet landed on my cheek. I looked up, and a flurry of white swirled around the steeple.

It snowed, and snowed and snowed.